Dear Chris,
I believe I was listening to you on KARI radio station a few weeks ago talking about  making the decision to turn your life to Jesus over and over and the emotion toll that took.  I was just looking for radio stations on the way to work and came upon this conversation  totally by accident. I didn’t know that KARI station even existed. I have been fighting alcoholism my whole life and have made the decision to turn my life and my will over to
God so many times it hurts. Your conversation smacked me hard! The parallelism was stunning. That day I decided to study the Bible, listen to KARI and start to pray to Jesus to enter my heart. I have struggled with God my entire life. I have always wanted faith, but couldn’t believe. Couldn’t! Every day since then I have been on my knees praying to Jesus, asking him to forgive me and to save me, really not sure, still. You said that one day you will find your will bent and your mind clear; clear as it is the mind of Christ. Every day, every time I pray, tears pour from my eyes. I have been fighting pornography for as long as booze. Being molested for years by friends of the family growing up, I always shrugged it off. In my heart I know that drinking takes away the pain of the pornography and the past and that I could never find God with the disgust of my behavior, always wanting to be free from it,
but always failing.
Today is day number 3 free from pornography after 40 years of daily immersion.

My will has been bent and my mind is clear with the mind of Christ